From playful shade to outright exclusion, meanness can sometimes become part of gay male social culture—and the line between joking around and genuinely hurting someone isn't always clear. In this video, we explore why some gay men may compete, judge, or tear each other down, how internalized shame and insecurity can contribute to these behaviors, and what we can do to build a more supportive gay community.
Learn how bullying, comparison, insecurity, and internalized shame can influence the way gay men treat one another, and why choosing empathy and community over competition can help create a kinder LGBTQ+ community.
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Listen to the full podcast episode: https://www.ajadedgay.com/135-dont-be-a-mean-gay/
Read more on the topic in my blog: https://www.ajadedgay.com/blog/breaking-the-cycle-of-judgment-building-a-culture-of-kindness-and-support-in-the-gay-community/
Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgay
Sources:
The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community Is So Competitive: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-top-10-reasons-the-gay-community-is-so-competitive_b_7696812
10 Reasons Gay Men Are Hyper Competitive: https://www.pride.com/gay/2016/11/17/10-reasons-gay-men-are-hyper-competitive#rebelltitem1
Op-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?: https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2013/03/11/op-ed-are-gay-men-gay-mans-worst-enemy
Ask a Homo: Bitchy Queens: https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/07/ask-a-homo-why-is-bitchiness-common-among-gay-men.html
When Does a Bitchy Queen Become Too Much?: https://www.out.com/michael-musto/2016/12/27/when-does-bitchy-queen-become-too-much
Gays Behaving Badly: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jonny-harvey/gays-behaving-badly_b_17824412.html
Culture Slut: Dissecting the 'Mean Gays' Trope: https://www.polyesterzine.com/features/culture-slut-dissecting-the-mean-gays-trope
Matthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S27OXHYaR3A
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