Sign up to get updates from us
Just fifty miles east of Manhattan, Fire Island has been considered a gay village since the 1950s, with the stretch of land between Fire Island Pines and Cherry Grove—known as the Meat Rack—being a safe haven for repressed gay men to fully express and experience their sexuality. In this episode, we’re diving into the island's rich history, tracing its evolution from a secluded getaway for artists and bohemians to a thriving vacation destination for the queer community, and discussing th…
As gay men, we may experience complexities surrounding modern dating and societal pressures that often place unrealistic expectations of romantic and personal fulfillment. So when we think we’ve found “The One,” what do we do when they break up with us, telling us that we’re only seventy percent of what they need…while having sex? In this episode, author Jonathan Lee joins us to discuss his memoir, 40 Single Gay, which explores his personal journey of navigating love, relationships, and self…
In 1960s New York City, gay men needed a safe space to socialize without being arrested, which resulted in many frequenting private bottle clubs, like the Stonewall Inn, which was owned by the Mafia. On June 28, 1969, during a routine police raid, patrons were fed up and resisted. In this episode, we’re discussing the iconic Stonewall riots, which became a symbol of resistance to social and political discrimination that would inspire solidarity among homosexual groups for decades. Additiona.…
Many gay men were taught that religion and sexuality are at odds with one another; either you're too gay to be religious, or you're too religious to be gay. As a result, we may have experienced religious trauma, leaving us feeling alone within our faith and the LGBGTQ+ community. In this episode, Eric Feltes, actor, writer, and life coach, joins us to discuss his spiritual journey, balancing sexuality and faith, and how gay men can overcome their religious trauma to live their auth…
During the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, 2016, a gunman entered Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and opened fire on the crowd, who was celebrating Latin Night. After more than three hours of terror, 49 lives were lost and 53 additional people were wounded. In today’s episode, we’re taking a look at the history of Pulse, the events of June 12, 2016, and the response to the shooting. Additional Resources: Orlando CensusThe 2021 LGBTQ+ Travel IndexLGBT Adults in Large US Metropol.…
Stereotypical gay culture has idolized youth, beauty, and sex, which has resulted in the concept of Gay Death, the all-too-popular myth that gay men have aged beyond attractiveness once they turn 30. In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men fear growing older, the concept of internalized gay ageism and its negative impacts on our mental health, and how we can embrace our age. Additional Resources: Gay Death (Urban Dictionary)Gay Death (Wikipedia)'Gay Death': They Say 30 is the…
Despite the letter B in LGBTQ+, many people, both within and outside of the community, tend to discount the experiences of bisexual people. This ignorance has resulted in bi-erasure, a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality is questioned or denied outright. In this episode, my friend, Sam McClain, joins us to discuss her experiences as a bisexual woman, common misconceptions, and how we can end bi-erasure. Additional Resources: Bisexual ErasureSam McClain - Fa.…
Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than… Judy Garland. Known as the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Judy is remembered for her vaudeville roots, iconic camp performances, and personal struggles, which mirrored those of her gay audience. Additional Resources: Vaudeville DefinitionWhy is Judy Garland the U..…
Being our authentic selves can be scary since many of us fear rejection—and for good reason. Family conflict and rejection is the main cause of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, and LGBTQ+ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness compared to non-LGBTQ+ youth. In this episode, we’re discussing key drivers of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, system failures, and how we can support those struggling with housing instability. Additional Resources: What Do You Know About Homelessness and Housing .…
For many gay men, we struggle with minority stress and discrimination on a daily basis. Along with childhood trauma and gay shame, this adversity causes some to turn to alcohol as a form of self-medicating. In fact, the rate of substance abuse is estimated to be between 20 to 30 percent in LGBTQ+ people compared to 9 percent for the general population. In this episode, we’re taking a look at why members of the LGBQT+ community are more likely to be impacted by alcoholism and how to seek out …
We’ve come a long way regarding LGBTQ+ media representation, with 92 LGBTQ+ characters appearing on scripted broadcast primetime programming for the 2021-2022 season. However, that representation falls flat when you consider the number of straight actors appearing as LGBTQ+ characters. In this episode, we’re taking a look at roadblocks LGBTQ+ actors encounter in Hollywood as we discuss the debate on if straight actors should play gay characters. Additional Resources: GLAAD's Where We Ar…
We live in a time when we don’t have to be confined to standard labels regarding gender, sexuality, and even relationship types. Regardless of whether we’re monogamous or polyamorous, it’s still important to do the emotional work so we’re bringing our best selves forward into a relationship scenario. In this episode, my friend, Eric Praniewicz, joins us to discuss his experiences with polyamory, common misconceptions, and how we can become better communicators regardless of relationship type…
In previous episodes, we talked about how gay men may struggle with perfectionism as a means to validate themselves and overcome their gay shame. As a result, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others and compete against other gay men instead of lifting our community up. In this episode, we’re talking about some of the reasons why gay men compete with one another, ways to stop comparing ourselves to others, and how we can better support our community instead of tearing each other down. Addit.…
In past episodes, we've talked about how it can be difficult for gay men to find a network of like-minded peers and the importance of finding your community and chosen family. In this episode, my friend, Jonathan Steele, joins us to discuss how gayming provides a sense of escapism and queer representation, allowing you to be whoever you want to be, and how gaymers are building an inclusive, online community. Additional Resources: UK Games Industry Census - Understanding Diversity in the…
In 1981, reports of a “rare cancer” affecting homosexual men surfaced, which marks the start of the AIDS crisis. For years, those living with AIDS were largely neglected by the government and medical community. In this episode, we’re discussing how ACT UP formed in response to social neglect, government negligence, and the complacency of the medical establishment, and their decades-long work, which continues today. Additional Resources: How AIDS Remained an Unspoken—But Deadly—Epidemic for .…
In past episodes, we've talked about how some gay men try to curate the illusion of a "perfect life" to compensate for feelings of shame and rejection. As such, we develop a false sense of confidence through others' validation. In this episode, my friend, Tillie Lee, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we practice mindfulness, be more confident, and love ourselves better. Additional Resources: Raising Low Self-EsteemTillie Lee PhotosInstagram - Tillie LeeS…
There is a longstanding stereotype that gay men have a disposable income to fund an extravagant lifestyle. However, recent data has found that there is a gay wealth gap, with the average LGBTQ+ worker earning 90 cents for every dollar a typical worker earns. In this episode, we’re taking a look at recent data regarding this wealth gap, how workplace discrimination and “early choices” impact this disparity, and what employers and policymakers can do to promote pay equality. Additional Resour.…
Over the past few years, there’s been an uptick in millennials’ obsession with houseplants. And with 10.5% of millennials identifying as being LGBTQ+, which is much higher than older generations, it’s no surprise that there has been an increase in plant gays. In this episode, we’re taking a look at this millennial trend, the positive health effects houseplants have, and how they can teach gay men to live mindfully. Additional Resources: Why Millennials Are Suddenly So Obsessed With Housepla.…
As gay men, many of us have feared being rejected by our friends and family as part of our coming out process. It’s no surprise that grappling with this fear can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability. In this episode, we’re talking about how our fear of rejection can lead to developing abandonment issues, the negative impact this can have on romantic relationships, and how we can overcome these struggles. Additional Resources: Abandonment Issues: Signs A.…
Correction: The U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision for Obergefell v. Hodges came on June 26, 2015. It was incorrectly/accidentally stated as January 26, 2015 at the 15:25 time mark. In the United States, the fight for marriage equality dates back to 1987. But between 2012 and 2014, significant challenges to state laws prohibiting same-sex marriage arose. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of Obergefell v. Hodges, its landmark decision and legacy, and potential threa…
Many of us have experienced “gay loneliness” from growing up gay in a straight society. We can feel isolated from our straight peers and even members of our community. But what happens when we feel that same sense of loneliness in a romantic relationship? In this episode, my friend, Jordan Nofziger, joins us to discuss overcoming loneliness in a relationship and recognizing our inner strength to make our own happiness. Support the show Get Your Merch
It’s the most dreaded time of the year for single people. In this episode, we’re talking through the pressures of Valentine’s Day and how we can celebrate the holiday by loving ourselves. Support the show Get Your Merch
In previous episodes, we discussed how being vulnerable in a relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety since it threatens longstanding psychological defenses formed to avoid emotional pain and rejection. So if we go through a breakup, we can feel alone and lose ourselves. In this episode, Sara Sabatino joins us to talk through the realization of a relationship's end, moving on from a breakup, and finding yourself. Support the show Get Your Merch
Previously, we discussed how growing up gay can impact our attachment styles when it comes to dating. Unsurprisingly, gay men who were denied affection and emotional support from their caregivers may develop an avoidant attachment type in adulthood and have a harder time getting intimate with others. In this episode, we’re taking a look at how our upbringing affects our emotional availability as gay men, identifying signs of emotional unavailability in a partner, and how we can allow ourselv…