While playful putdowns and throwing shade have long been a celebrated form of humor and bonding among gay men, they can sometimes perpetuate cliques, exclusion, and toxic behaviors within the community. Not only does this behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes like the "bitchy queen" or "mean gay," but it also deepens divisions in an already marginalized community, reflecting the way we are often treated by the larger world.
In this episode, we're exploring why mean gay behavior manifests, the impact it has on our community, and ways we can foster kindness and support among one another.
Full Episode:
https://www.ajadedgay.com/135-dont-be-a-mean-gay/
Related Episodes:
Listen to Episode 34. GBF: Gay Best Friend
https://www.ajadedgay.com/34-gbf-gay-best-friend/
Listen to Episode 38. Learning to Accept Kindness
https://www.ajadedgay.com/38-learning-to-accept-kindness/
Listen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Gays
https://www.ajadedgay.com/53-stop-comparing-yourself-to-other-gays/
Additional Resources:
The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community Is So Competitive
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-top-10-reasons-the-gay-community-is-so-competitive_b_7696812
10 Reasons Gay Men Are Hyper Competitive
https://www.pride.com/gay/2016/11/17/10-reasons-gay-men-are-hyper-competitive#rebelltitem1
Op-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?
https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2013/03/11/op-ed-are-gay-men-gay-mans-worst-enemy
Ask a Homo: Bitchy Queens
https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/07/ask-a-homo-why-is-bitchiness-common-among-gay-men.html
When Does a Bitchy Queen Become Too Much?
https://www.out.com/michael-musto/2016/12/27/when-does-bitchy-queen-become-too-much
Gays Behaving Badly
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jonny-harvey/gays-behaving-badly_b_17824412.html
Culture Slut: Dissecting the 'Mean Gays' Trope
https://www.polyesterzine.com/features/culture-slut-dissecting-the-mean-gays-trope
Matthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S27OXHYaR3A
Support the show
https://www.patreon.com/ajadedgaypod
Get Your Merch
https://a-jaded-gay.creator-spring.com/
