171. Manifest Your Best Year Yet (with Ryan Lu)

Snarky Opener (0:00)

Ryan Lu  

Queer people are drawn to manifesting because it is accepting that we deserve more. We deserve better. We deserve to take up space. We deserve to be loud.

Episode Introduction (0:28)

Rob Loveless  

Hello, my LGBTQuties, and welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay. I'm Rob Loveless, and today I am a non-jaded gay because your boy is on YouTube. Yes, I finally took the leap into video.

I've been wanting to do it for a while, and I know it's important to have that out there, because it helps people discover the show.

But I wasn't really sure how to begin, and I stumble a lot when I record my episodes, so I do a lot of editing.

And so, I didn't think a video podcast was realistic because it would just look so choppy with all the edits.

So, what I've done instead is I've just condensed all the past episodes into, like, little two to three-minute video snippets to just kind of give a high-level overview of the episode.

And it's fun because it helps me kind of reconnect to the beginning of the podcast.

You know, I did this last year with the blog post, how I went back to the beginning, transcribed them all, turned them into blogs, posted them, and it kind of was funny to look back and see where everything started, kind of some of the concepts there.

How maybe things have changed, or how they still connect to today. So, it's interesting doing that with the videos, too.

And it's been nice because it's kind of helped me reconnect with the kind of creativity that's a little different than writing and podcasting.

So, it's scary having my face out there, but at the same time, pretty exciting, because it's a new venture for the new year. So, I would definitely appreciate any support.

You can go to the YouTube channel, watch some videos. I started posting back at the beginning of December, so I've been doing it for a little bit. But yeah, I appreciate any support, and hopefully you like my face.

Manifestations (1:47)

Rob Loveless  

But speaking about doing new things in the new year, I'm super excited for our guest to come on today to talk about all things manifestation.

Now so many of us have heard the expression new year, new me, and I know people kind of roll their eyes at it, but I truthfully have always loved New Year's because I feel like it is an opportunity to start fresh.

And I mean, I make changes throughout the year, so I'm not the type of person that needs to get to a special holiday to make a change in my life, but I do think it's a nice reset.

And so, I think manifestation is a nice tie-in to help us kind of realize what we really want and work on making those things a reality.

So, we'll be bringing our guest on in a minute to talk about all things manifestation. But before we do, you know the drill. Let's pull the tarot card.

Tarot (2:29)

Rob Loveless  

So, the card we drew for today is the King of Cups in reverse. Cups, as you know, is tied to the element of water. It's feminine energy, so it's asking us to turn inward and meditate and reflect.

But actually, because it's a king, that's a very masculine energy card, which is very action-oriented. So, we have a nice balance of both here.

And Cups is tied to our emotions, which you can think of as flowing freely like water. And the king is also the final card in the suit.

So, we've arrived at the end of a cycle or chapter and are about to start a new one. However, it's also the 14th card in the suit.

And when you add the numbers together, you get five, which is sometimes referred to as the conflict number. And when we draw this king in reverse, it's telling us that we may have shaky boundaries.

And as a result, we may be more prone to drama, emotional instability, and becoming upset.

However, this card is a reminder that it's time to turn inward, to focus on our innermost feelings and explore our emotions.

Guest Introduction (3:20)

Rob Loveless  

So, with all that in mind, I'm very excited to welcome our next guest. She is a podcaster and content creator, helping queer people step into their authentic selves and manifest the lives they want to live.

Please welcome Ryan Lu. Hi Ryan. How are you today?

Ryan Lu  

Hi, Rob. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk to you.

Rob Loveless  

I'm so excited to have you on, and I think this is such a great topic to cover that we're in January. It's a new year. You always see people say new year, new me.

So, I think manifestations can really help with that. I'm excited to get into all the things here.

Before we do, though, can you tell them a little bit about how you identify, your background, career, pronouns, all that fun stuff?

Ryan Lu

Yeah, hi. My name is Ryan. I am a content creator. My pronouns are she/her. And I also host my own podcast as well. I do a lot of content around spirituality, manifestation, affirmation, and I also read tarot.

And I'm hoping to expand to other things in traditional media throughout 2026, which we are going to be manifesting and talking about manifesting for too.

Rob Loveless  

And I like to ask all my guests today, are you a jaded or non-jaded gay, and why?

Ryan Lu  

Okay, I think I'm always a jaded gay because I literally resent the fact that I'm attracted to men so much.

It's like the biggest curse in my life, also the biggest blessing in my life, like genuinely. But yeah, I'm feeling pretty jaded. I think I'm a jaded gay every day, actually.

Rob Loveless  

Very relatable, but maybe we can manifest some good men in our lives in 2026 then.

Ryan Lu  

Lord, oh my god, I'm praying. Claiming that.

Rob Loveless  

Fingers crossed. Well, just jumping right into the episode and all things manifestation. How did you get into this and mindset work?

Ryan Lu  

So basically, I had always been into manifestation, but in a very girly, pop, casual way, where I remember just casually talking to my friends and be like, oh yeah, manifesting this, I'm manifesting this.

And I didn't even really know what that meant. I guess I was using it synonymously for saying I'm hoping for this, or I would like this, versus being actually intentional with what manifesting is.

And I would do that pretty much all the time. I'm manifesting this. I'm manifesting this. It felt very common, like a common phrase.

And then in 2020, during the pandemic, Lovato, when the pandemic hit, everything shut down. I got really, really, really, like, depressed, and I was like, really, just like, man, I want better for my life.

I had just turned 24 in 2020 and I know, I knew I always wanted to entertain. I always wanted to do something more than just work an office job, or work a traditional career, or anything like that.

So, I started getting into spirituality because I just needed something to believe in.

I had a couple years where I was, like, really deeply involved with the church and Christianity, and I still believe in God and all of that, but I just didn't necessarily felt like I aligned with church itself, and what, you know, the Bible necessarily was teaching.

And I wanted to seek out more answers for myself, so I turned to spirituality.

2020 was when I started looking into what manifestation really was, which was more than just saying, like you want something, you're hoping for something.

It's about setting intentions and being intentional about what that means and how to achieve it.

So, I started manifesting in a journal. I started writing down what I wanted as if I already had it, and I just started living like I already had it. I would live my life as if I was already rich.

I would live my life as if I already had, you know, followers, for example, if I was manifesting blowing up on TikTok.

And in front of my eyes, I literally all started manifesting, and I felt like I had unlocked a secret power, because I started seeing my life change before, like change right in front of me.

And then I got really, really into manifesting. My first videos that blew up on TikTok were about manifesting, and I just kept making more, and I kept studying it, and kept getting deeper into it.

I kept doing different manifestation methods until I got to kind of where I am now, where I just feel like manifesting is seamless and easy for me, like I can get whatever I want, whenever I want it.

And yeah, it was like a journey, but now it's like just such a natural part of my life.

Rob Loveless  

I love your connection to spirituality and how you kind of blend a little bit of everything. Christianity, tarot, manifestation.

Because I think for so many people in the queer community, religion is not typically an affirming or accepting space, and there still might be some of those, like core beliefs there, and wanting to believe in a higher power, but trying to find a way that feels safe and that you're respected as well.

And I think having a little bit of that, but then sprinkling in, you know, like myself as well, the tarot and the manifestation, it just creates a nice balance that seems to fit right for us.

And it seems like it's created an awesome presence for you online, and a very successful TikTok and podcast. So, I'd love to get into that.

You touched upon it a little bit, but what inspired you to start Delulu with Ryan Lu, and what does delulu mean to you in the context of manifestation?

Ryan Lu  

Delulu is just like actually being just absolute batshit crazy.

And I really do believe that crazy people get what they want. You have to have the audacity and like, the ambition and drive to say, hey, this goal I have, this dream I have, is not something that I just like, I'm hoping for.

It's something that I'm saying, like, it's mine. I'm going to make it happen. And that's what being delulu is. It's essentially a really strong form of manifesting. And delulu, or delusional, is the law of assumption.

And the law of assumption is what you want is already yours. So, you act as if you already have it. Like I mentioned earlier, like I would act like I'm rich and I would manifest money through that.

Like you got to be on the frequency of the lifestyle, or whatever your goal is that you're trying to manifest. And I think the only way to really get there is to be truly delulu. Be crazy about it.

Like, people are going to think you're crazy. You're going to think you're crazy, but at the end of the day, when it manifests for you, then it's not really that crazy anymore.

And the podcast started just from the idea of expanding connection. I have been creating content for the past five years.

This is my sixth year as a content creator now, and I was thinking about the scope of my career, the scope of what I've done, and I truly felt like I had already done everything I wanted to do when it came to social media content creation.

I felt very satisfied with it. And I don't want to settle, and I was like, what’s something else I can expand on? What's another avenue I can kind of reach people with and facilitate more conversations?

Tell inspiring stories, highlight different artists, creators, different guests with their own stories and how they've gone to where they are now, too. And I feel like that's where delulu kind of began for me.

It started with this idea of starting a podcast about manifestation, and it evolved more into helping other people highlight their stories, and then also being able to relate to each other and truly be able to connect.

And I think at the core of everything I do within my content, within my career, it really comes down to connection, and delulu helps me connect on a whole new level, which I'm very grateful for as well.

Manifestation and the LGBTQ+ Community (9:48)

Rob Loveless  

And we touched upon this a little bit in regard to spirituality, but more specifically, why do you think manifestation resonates so much with gay men?

Ryan Lu  

I think when it comes to gay men and queer people in general, like there's this whole idea that we need to either minimize ourselves or that we need to not be as loud or as big or take up as much space, which is just completely bullshit and ludicrous.

When it comes to following like this society and heteronormativity, I think the idea of being delusional, the idea of manifesting it becomes more of a fever dream versus something that feels achievable for queer, the queer community in general.

And I think queer people are drawn to manifesting because it is accepting that we deserve more. We deserve better. We deserve to take up space.

We deserve to be loud, and we deserve to achieve our dreams and do what we want to do as well.

I feel like when it comes to traditional media, we see a lot of people getting what they want, and it feels I know, for me, I get very jaded where I'm like, I know if I was like a straight white man, where I'd be in my career would be so much further if I had the same drive and ambition and talent that I have right now, just presented differently.

And I think we want to reshape that narrative to be like you can and you will have everything you want. And I think that's why it really resonates with queer men, the queer community in general.

Internalized Homophobia & Mindset Blocks (11:08)

Rob Loveless  

Absolutely. And do you think internalized homophobia or other mindset blocks create limiting beliefs in our manifestation practices? And if so, how can we overcome these?

Ryan Lu  

That is such an interesting discourse, and absolutely. When it comes to limiting beliefs, they really hold you back from being able to manifest, like, the dream life that you want. It's more than just being delulu.

It's more than being delusional and saying, like, okay, I want this and have this. You have to kind of ignore the doubts that you have in your head.

Like, that's human, and it's completely normal to be like, okay, but is it realistic? Like, how realistic is this thing that I want? Like, how can I actually get it?

Limiting beliefs can really hold you back subconsciously, too, because then if you truly, in your head, think that maybe it's not possible, you're not going to move, and you're not going to act as if it is possible.

So, you're going to make less choices and decisions to make that dream a reality.

And as far as it goes for internalized homophobia, I think that's an entirely different layer in itself, where it's like, if people aren't even necessarily completely accepting of, let's say, themselves, or people around them, or communities that they can lean into, it makes it so much harder, because I don't even necessarily think manifestation is an individual journey.

While the things that you want to manifest can feel very personal, individual to you, it's also really important to lean on community, people who uplift you, people who believe in you as well.

And I feel like that's something that the queer community really empower each other to do, is believing in each other, believing in yourself.

I think that when those things are prevalent, whether it's limiting beliefs or the internalized homophobia, then it could really hold you back.

But everyone's also on their own journey with figuring out, like, what works for them, kind of like where they stand with that.

And you know, I think the best thing that we can do as community is just continue to be patient, give each other grace, uplift each other as much as we can.

Rob Loveless  

And for queer people who feel stuck or hopeless, what's the first step you recommend to begin a manifestation journey?

Ryan Lu  

I think start journaling. I think if you weren't already journaling, get a journal. You don't even need a physical journal. Write it in your notes app.

Do any sort of outlet that you can get your thoughts out of your head onto.

Something in front of you, that you can look at, that you can make more sense of, and start really like recording where you're thinking about what you're hoping for.

I think this is gonna help you process things in general, just as far as it goes for your life, what you want out of your life. And then you can start kind of identifying with, like, the steps to take for the next thing.

And it doesn't have to be an overnight change. I think a lot of us expect things to happen so quickly.

But it's also really important to recognize that this is a journey, and you're going to take baby steps, and every step forward is progress.

So, no matter where you are in your journey, and as long as you're like, you're being intentional about it, you're going to have days where you don't feel as confident about it, where you're not feeling as great about it.

But I think giving yourself grace to go on this journey and figuring it out is also very important. So, I would honestly say, like journaling, I'm a huge advocate for journaling. I journal every day.

I journal all my thoughts. I think about, I write what I'm hoping for. I write about what I'm scared of. I write about my day.

And I think it's like the only thing that's kept me half sane the past ten years of my life.

Self-Love & Manifestation (14:04)

Rob Loveless  

And way back when, in one of the early podcast episodes, I did an episode on setting the benchmark for Mr. Right. And in that, we also touched upon manifestation.

And obviously, while that was related more toward a romantic relationship, there was a lot of talk about with manifestation in general, it's really important that you love yourself and you're in a place to accept yourself before you try to manifest certain things, especially a relationship.

So, with that in mind, what role does self-love actually play in attracting what we want?

Ryan Lu  

Honestly, it's about being on that frequency and that vibration. And I always tell people when they ask me, like, how do I manifest love? How do I manifest the soul in me? How do I manifest the right partner?

It really does start with loving yourself first, because you want to be on that vibration where you're showing the universe like I deserve love, and I deserve to receive love, the love that I know I can give, and the love that I'm capable of accepting into my life as well.

And you really want to put that energy back into yourself. People always think that, like being a good partner, having a good relationship really comes down to, like, how much you pour into someone else.

But truly, no one's gonna be able to pour back into you unless you're pouring into yourself first.

And I always tell people, like, even if you are in a relationship or things are going great, you need to make sure that you're spending time with yourself, that you're loving yourself as well.

And I'm not claiming to know, like, you know, be an expert on that, but I am saying like it is a journey, and I think when it comes down to self-love, that is when love in all directions in the world really open up and really start flowing to you.

Rob Loveless  

And you touched upon this a little bit earlier about how we need to uplift each other.

So how can queer people use manifestation to form better relationships, whether that be romantic, platonic, or community-based?

Ryan Lu  

It's making sure that you're not settling. So, when it comes to manifestation, writing down exactly what you want, your expectations for yourself, and knowing that you're not going to settle for anything less.

So, whether that's relationships, romantic, platonic, any connections that you have in your life, knowing that the type of person, the type of community that you want to be surrounding yourself, you're setting that standard.

You're saying, I'm not going to go less than this. I'm not going to accept energy that's less than this. And if it happens to find you, you're aware of it. You're manifesting something better.

You're recognizing that this isn't what you've been manifesting. So, what you have been manifesting is coming, and it's going to show up, but you need to keep going.

You cannot stop at this pit stop here and hope for it to work out there. You cannot settle. So, I think that's what manifesting really helps with.

It's setting the intentions because I think again, like manifestation, a lot of people think it's like, oh, I'm hoping for this, but it's also saying, no, I'm recognizing that this is what I want. It's either this or better, and I'm not accepting less than that.

New Year Manifestations (16:40)

Rob Loveless  

Definitely. And it's January. We're a few weeks into the new year. You know, new year, new opportunity. It's a blank slate to start over.

So how should we approach manifestation in the new year so our intentions actually stick?

Ryan Lu  

I think, first start reflecting on your previous year, what you've accomplished, being grateful for what you had manifested, and what you've already done in the past year, and then start thinking about what you could do to bring in the next things that you want during this year, knowing you have a blank slate and every day is a brand new day to make things happen for yourself.

So I think it's giving yourself that freedom and grace to say, Okay, I have a full year now to go ahead and move forward with my journey, and I'm going to reflect on maybe what didn't work before, what I wish I could have changed last year, and start thinking about how I can implement those changes to my life today, to start seeing the dream life I want manifest in front of me throughout this year.

Rob Loveless  

And as we're talking about 2026 and the great things on the horizon, what are you personally manifesting for yourself?

Ryan Lu  

Damn, I feel like that's such a great, interesting question because, like, I feel like in 2024, the beginning of 2024, I kind of sat down on myself, and I was like, oh my gosh, I have everything I could ever want.

Like everything I've ever dreamed of since I was a kid, I manifested at that point. And then I started thinking, like, okay, now it's time to start thinking bigger, start dreaming bigger.

Start getting crazier of what I'm trying to manifest. I think where I am right now, like even the past year, was incredible for me. In 2025, I feel like I had a lot of new highs within my life and career.

I think this year, for me, it's about being intentional about my career. I want to say, I mean, that's a tough one, because, like, I honestly, I'm so career-driven and focused. But this year, I want to release music.

I want to put out my own music. I want to start writing with other people. I want to start pursuing more of my creative endeavors.

Because I feel like I spent the past half-decade really focusing on the social media game and being good at it and mastering that.

And you know, while that was necessary and fulfilling for me at the moment, I feel like where I am right now is making sure I fill my own cup creatively. So, 2025, this year, I'm releasing music.

I'm sending that intention right now. We're gonna circle back to this, and we're gonna see that I talked about it. But I'm gonna put out music. I'm gonna do things I'm proud of.

I'm gonna continue on with the Delulu with Ryan Lu, the show, and hopefully start making a different way to connect with people, too. I think for me, it's always gonna come back to connection.

So that's kind of what I'm setting intentions for, for 2026. Also trying to take a little less pressure off of myself.

I feel like I've already accomplished so much, but you know. And fuck it, I'm gonna throw it out there, world domination. We're gonna do that too.

Rob Loveless  

You know, just small goals. You know, something easy.

Ryan Lu  

Yeah, like light things. Easy, no big deal. Easy things to manifest are small.

Start Small, Manifest Big (19:25)

Rob Loveless  

That's awesome. And I think that ties nicely to this next question. For listeners who are skeptical, what's one simple practice they can try that might shift their perspective into leaning into manifestation?

Ryan Lu  

Yeah, I love that. Honestly, exactly what I said, start small. Whenever people are new to manifesting, and I'm trying to advise them, through it, what I did when I started manifesting, I started small.

I'd be like, I got a free coffee today. Or I'd be like, this friend called me, or like, just small, minuscule things that you wouldn't necessarily think of. And it's to build the belief.

And building the belief is building the confidence that what you want can manifest, and you are manifesting it. So, I would start manifesting small things.

Manifest that free coffee, manifest that phone call, manifest like something that feels insignificant. And when it shows up, you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, I manifested it.

Manifest a song that you like, coming up on shuffle, something like that. And the more you build that belief, start building what you're manifesting. Keep getting bigger.

I remember when I first started in my manifestation journal, it was like, I did well on this paper, because I was in college. Or I'd be like, I got a free coffee, and that manifested.

And I was like, okay, it's working, you know what I mean? And then I kept going. And then I was like, you know, Trump loses the election. And this was 2020. And then that manifests.

I was like, okay, I can manifest anything now. And from that point, I was like, fuck it. We're gonna manifest everything. So, build the belief, and also don't rush your manifestations.

I feel like people think like, you know, people see people talk about manifestation that can happen overnight, but it's like some manifestations take forever.

A lot of my manifestations that I've had since 2020 are finally happening right now. And I feel like it's all a part of the journey.

So, take the pressure off. Just kind of enjoy yourself along the way. Like life is still great. Being grateful, expressing gratitude, being grateful breeds more things to be grateful for.

Rob Loveless  

Definitely. And that's an interesting point you brought up about how manifestations don't necessarily happen on your timeline. So, you might be manifesting something, and it doesn't happen.

So, you think, well, this doesn't work. But really, it might just mean that it's supposed to happen another way.

So, do you have any guidance or advice for anyone who's manifesting but feeling like, you know, what they're trying to achieve isn't happening?

Ryan Lu  

Really give yourself the grace to be patient with it, because I know for me, I'm very impatient as a person. I like things to be done quickly. I like things to be done well.

But at the end of the day, a lot of things are out of our hands. And that is actually something that we should find reassurance in. Sometimes it's saying, like, okay, I cannot control this. It's out of my hands.

I set the manifestation. I set the intention. I believe it's gonna happen. It already has happened. Now I'm gonna let the universe handle it. It is so much bigger than us than we even realize.

And then you're gonna find so much for peace when things align and find you. So, I think like, as long as you just know like it is happening, have that belief that whatever you're asking for, it is happening.

It already happened. Just live your life. We cannot stick in this mindset of being like, oh my gosh, where is it? We can't obsess over it like that, because it's not actually going to change anything for us.

Rob Loveless  

Well, with everything in mind that we talked about today, what's something you hope queer listeners carry with them into 2026 regarding manifestation and self-worth?

Ryan Lu  

Blind confidence. Like I said, have the incredible audacity to believe that you can have whatever you want. Take up as much space as possible.

I think the queer community should take up space and continue to take up space.

And I think especially with you know, where we are with this administration, the political climate, it could feel easy, be scared, and also be feel pushed back and repressed.

But this is the time that we really need to take up space. This is time that we need to be manifesting bigger. This is the time that we need to take over.

So, I think as long as you are present and you are leaning on each other, whether it comes to your manifestations or just as a community in general, I think that's where we're going to find the most power for ourselves as a community.

Episode Closing (23:00)

Rob Loveless  

And connecting it back to the tarot, the King of Cups in reverse. Again, this card is telling us that we may have shaky boundaries which are impacting us emotionally.

So, we need to lean into the feminine energy of this card and look within to reconnect with our emotions and intuition to make sure we're on a path that aligns with our wants and needs.

And I think you can see a clear connection to this card and the power of manifestation.

So many of us live our lives doing the things, checking all the boxes, which can leave us in a cycle of daily monotony and may not truthfully align with what we want.

So, we need to pay attention to our feelings and desires and try to connect those with strategic action.

Like Ryan said, maybe we start journaling to just get our emotions out as words, which can help us reconnect with our passions and allow us to determine a path forward to making those dreams a reality.

Connect with Ryan (23:44)

Rob Loveless  

Well, Ryan, thank you so much for coming on today. This was such an inspiring and uplifting conversation. I'm feeling energized for the year ahead.

I'm hoping everybody else out there listening is as well. As we're wrapping up here, I know you have several exciting projects. Obviously, Delulu with Ryan Lu, but you mentioned some music as well.

So, can you tell the listeners where they can connect with you and hear about all the things?

Ryan Lu  

Yeah, oh my gosh. Of course. You guys can find me across all my socials, at e.mo.tions. E, period, M-O, period, T-I-O-N-S. And please check out the podcast, Delulu with Ryan Lu.

We have a new episode every week, and it's super exciting. We have inspiring conversations, talking about people and their dreams, and making them a reality as well. 

And I will be putting out music this year, so please support that as well. There are some songs that I've written for other artists that are going to be coming out this year as well.

So just you know, follow me on my socials. I'll keep everyone posted whenever everything comes out. But yeah, we have a really big year ahead of us. And I hope everyone has a great 2026.

Rob Loveless  

And I'm curious what kind of music? Like pop bangers, ballads?

Ryan Lu  

Oh, my God, it's like all over the place.

I think the first thing I'm gonna put out is an acoustic guitar-driven EP, which I'm working on simultaneously right now with what I'm intending to be my debut full-length album.

And the album's gonna be like pop bangers. I feel like it's just like, I'm so excited about it. It's everything I've been, like, dreaming of my entire life.

And this is, like, one of those big things that I felt like I didn't want to say out loud for manifesting. Like it would be, like, I want to be a pop star. It seems so crazy and out there, but now I'm like, fuck it.

I'm gonna be a pop star. I am a pop star. But, yeah, I think, I think it's a very queer coded album.

I think all of it's very queer coded because I'm a queer individual and I'm writing from my experience, I hope everyone loves it.

Rob Loveless  

That's awesome. I can't wait to hear it.

Ryan Lu  

Thank you. I'm so excited to share it.

Rob Loveless  

And all that information will be in the show notes, so be sure to check it out and support Ryan.

Connect with A Jaded Gay (25:33)

Rob Loveless  

And for the podcast, you know the drill. For any questions or feedback, you can reach out to me rob@ajadedgay.com.

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